Lifestyle With J

Disclaimer: We all know living like an It girl starts within. The best intentions will fall by the wayside without a deep understanding of yourself, your wants, your needs, and your connection to the higher power. The best outfit and even attitude can’t fix a discontent soul. Get right with God, and take the following advice as a part to living a fun and fulfilling life 🙂

Without further ado!

Step 1: “Don’t let other people tell you who you are, you tell them!”-Serena Vanderwoodsen

The older I get, and the more experiences I have the more this quote resonates with me. When you are growing up, in school, at your job or in a social setting, and looking for your people, it can be easy to fall into “lets get them to like me mode” mode. I am a believer that different settings call for different aspects of your personality. However, it is important to check in with yourself, and pause if it comes to a point where we are so scared of making other people uncomfortable that we are no longer being true to ourselves. Don’t dim your own sparkle for fear others can’t handle your shine. What makes someone magnetic is their courage to both attract and repel. Both Blair and Serena certainly made some enemies (Georgina Sparks) but also managed to attract some amazing people and opportunities into their life with their own unique magnetic charm.  Who wants to be liked by all, but loved by no one?  

Sometimes, being true to ourselves can be letting any hate we get from people who aren’t meant for us slide off our back. A negative nancy co-worker, fellow student or client? Treat them with cordiality but leave it at that. You were not made for their friendship, and do not need to waste any of your precious energy convincing them to like you. Keep shining your light and you will find your supporters and true friends.

Sometimes though, even our loved ones and supporters can unintentionally influence us in a way that can be limiting. Maybe we have always been praised for a job or even fashion sense that no longer serves us. Our loved ones have nothing but the best of intentions for us, and want to be an encouragement, but it is up to us to check in with ourselves about when its time to pivot in life.  Don’t take a backseat in your own life, own who you are and give others the opportunity to decide if its for them without fear of rejection. 

Step 2. Dress to Impress!

While our style might be more demure than Serena and Blair, having styles you can always come back to to look chic every day, as well as being open to playing around with the right trends for you can help you put your best foot forward everyday. What I love about gossip girl, is even on days the girls aren’t wearing a ball gown at that week’s gala, they still look fabulous no matter the circumstance. Coffee and errands with a friend, a walk in the park, dinner with the family, every circumstance is an opportunity to be seen and express your sense of style with loved ones and passersby alike. Even if you live a casual lifestyle, you can still take the time to make sure your look is on point with the energy you want to put out into the world. Make sure that your sense of style commands the respect you deserve. You never know who you will meet when you step foot out your front door!

Step 3. Self Care

In the same vein of always dressing your best, taking care of your personal grooming is of utmost importance. Maybe even slightly more important than what you wear is ensuring your are fresh, clean and polished from head to toe. While I’m personally  still waiting on having a personal spa team on speed dial ( ala Blair Waldorf’s famous sleepovers and “study sessions”), ensuring your hair, skin and nails (maybe in that order) are taken care of will help you feel chic no matter what you wear. Decide if keeping up with colored nails is for you, or if you prefer to file, clean up your cuticles, and keep them up with a clear top coat is more your speed. Have a few hairstyles you are comfortable with that you can easily pull off before work or school, as well as a few fun looks to experiment with for events (Serena is our queen of the messy windswept look, as well as some more daring looks when she wanted to spice it up). Find a simple skin care routine that works for your skin type. The best maintenance routine is one that you feel serves you and one you can commit to. I recommend every woman keep a little secret in their beauty routine to give them that extra je ne sai qua.

Step 4: Never give up on your dreams…but leave a little room in your heart for the unimaginable. 

What I think adds so much depth to the characters and the storyline of gossip girl is how all the characters pursue their own goals and strive to create a name for themselves outside of their families influence. While its clear they are set up for success from birth considering the advantages their family can afford, they are not stagnant with what they have been given, but use the opportunities they have been given to truly consider what they are meant to achieve in life, and multiply their unique positions. While Serena follows a creative career in marketing, and Blair lives out a brief reign as Princess of Monaco) they are not afraid to capitalize on what they want when the moment presents itself. 

I think that while Blair represents a woman that knows what she wants, and pursues it with a laser sharp focus, Serena is an example of a woman who likes to go with the flow and takes opportunities as they present themselves. Both options can serve you for different seasons or even areas of your life. Maybe you are happy with your day job, but have an open mind when it comes to additional free lance work. Maybe you keep laser sharp focus in your career life, but prefer to keep a laze fair approach to your love life, or vice versa. Whether you know exactly what you want or are exploring your options, be sure to keep your eyes open to when an opportunity is for you. 

What both women share is their balance in keeping an open heart to love, while staying true to themselves. It girls like Serena and Blair know they are a catch, and they have the power to let go of the good to go for the great when their life’s path is pulling them apart from a romantic connection. They are not cold hearted or closed off in the journey of finding their true love, but they trust that the one that they are meant to end up with always come back when the time is right. If you follow their unique love stories throughout the show’s  seasons, you will see that growth was necessary for them to end up happily ever after in the end. 

5. Stay Loyal, to your inner circle and yourself

“We’re the non judging breakfast club” I love that no matter the antics that the group goes through together, they always forgive each other and put their family and friends first. Having loyalty to your inner circle will help you strengthen your connections and create your home base you can always return to. What do we have in life if we don’t have our family and true friends to fill our life with love? Give the love you want to receive (to those who deserve it). Forgive, forget and remember the love you have for each other, and all the laughs you have shared together. Keep each other’s secrets and wipe away each other’s tears. All the money and freedom mean nothing without our original besties by our side. 

In addition to giving love to our friends and family, don’t forget about yourself. Keep showing up for yourself, and remember you are your own oldest friend. We all go through times we aren’t able to give our full attention to others, and when we find ourselves in need of support, remember “God gave us two hands, one to help yourself and one to help others”, (okay, that one is Mother Teresa, not Gossip Girl). In life, it is so important to be able to give ourselves what we want. No one can do it like you can, babe. 

In conclusion, be yourself, look your best,dream big, and love big! Put your best foot forward in your presentation, and love with a pure heart and you can’t go wrong. 

Keep shining, it girls!

XOXO,

J